#BUT THE ALIENS ARE LITERALLY JUST TRYING TO DOMESTICATE YOU

[a-lewd-rat]

Terra Invicta, or, "What if that one 4X game from that one very specific hdg fanfic was a real game."

[willgrahamscock]

you'll forever be a cringey immature straight girl no matter if you call yourself a he or a xim or a identify as a table leg, no matter how many bone-eroding cross-sex hormones you take or whether you amputate or boobs or not. biologicallly you will always be a female heterosexual since that's what you were born as. neuroscience proves that heteros aka opposite-sex attracted people have distinct brain phenotypes from gay people, regardless of if they identify as trans or not. heterosexual aka male-attracted 'transmen' have the same brain chemistry as any normie het woman, proving both that sexuality is only determined by sex and that transness isn't innate the way homosexuality is. you can larp as whatever, call neuroscience and basic knowledge on sexuality 'stinky doo doo opinions' like a petulant child who just realized santa isn't real. the only thing you're doing is embarrassing yourselves in front of anyone with the slightest cerebral functionality because you're mad we're calling out your gay-fetishizing homophobic anti-scientific bs for what it is unlike the tras who pretend to see you as 'gay' 'men' because they feel sorry for your mentally ill ass and your internalized misogyny. sure you het women will never be in an equal relationship with a male because straight men see you as throwaway sex toys and free domestic servants but this isn't an excuse for you to fetishize gay men and pretend to be them, certainly not an excuse to expect them to go along with the charade and put up with you het weirdos preying on them. het males aren't dumb when it comes to manipulating women for easy p*ssy which is why they're already on grindr with your het ass, pretending to be QWeEr and non-binary to get that mentally ill gullible cooch. no actual gay male will look at you and have any other emotion aside from anger and pitiful laughter. even if you 'pass' completely, they'll be disgusted after learning you have female genitalia and lose any attraction they may have had because het sex is abnormal and undesirable to gay people, not falling for and not wanting to fuck the opposite sex is the literal essence of our sexuality which you are diametrically opposed to. you'll just rub your nub away to yaoi like any other fujo who is either an ugly woman or understandably disillusioned with men but the only outcome is that you'll be a bitter p0rn sick lonely coomer just like those crusty basement-dwelling straight men who can't get laid. the worst part is that nearly any het woman like you can get laid, that's no achievement, het men will even pretend to be bi or gay to use you as a fleshlight but no gay male will ever want your musty homophobic vag, they want none at all and deep down you know it. that you'll never be loved and wanted by a gay man, that you'll never be seen as gay or male by anyone. you'll never know the ultimate compatibility and sublime equality that only exists in same-sex love. and now that you've ruined your straight woman privilege, only the most abusive and weird straight men will go after you, whose only purpose is to take advantage of you. what a sad existence, foaming at the mouth at gay people for standing up for ourselves when you fake progressive breeders try to brainwash your fellow homophobes into your heteronormative bioessentialist homophobia, insisting gay people could be bisexually attracted as long as you wear 'boy clothes' and cut your hair off. congrats on alienating the very people you pretend to be, most of us were 'trans allies' just a few years ago before you went full crackhead and started pretending sexuality is based on a made-up gender not biological sex. enjoy withering away in your early menopause knowing no gay person will ever love or desire you, knowing you'll never be us and should be grateful since you couldn’t stand a day of real oppression. choke on as much d*ck as you'd like, it only proves what a wanton female hetero you are and that straight males would stick their d*ck in anyone female

I ain't reading all that

[thedragonboi]

Humans evolved to be friend!!!

Probably stupid but hear me out:

• We try to pet/make friend with everything

• several different species are documented to have raised abandoned/lost humans (famously wolves, but monkeys, parrots, cats and more have raised humans)

• animals that can harm/kill us typically leave us alone (cougars don’t tend to attack unless there’s kittens around, black bears are small but they can 100% kill you if they wanted but they just kinda go away, orcas are smart enough and big enough to hunt us if they wanted to but there’s 0 wild cases of death by orca)

• there are species that are so chill with humans they literally domesticated themselves

• humans get an oxytocin boost when we see cute things, we want to be friend!!!! (Cute is subjective, some people see bugs as creepy some see bugs as friend, there’s always someone who sees something as friend!!)

• we don’t have the best natural defence or offence meaning we ride a lot on “you don’t bother me I don’t bother you” cause idk about you but I got nothing if a horse decides it’s my time to go (yeah we can build armor and weapons but we have to actively make and use them, we don’t come ready made with a suit of metal armor)

In conclusion, I’m very convinced that if we find sentient alien life either they’d find us non threatening at worst, actively adorable and cuddly at best

[robbinghisdick]

"Good afternoon, baby boy!" Wade cheerily greets, swinging himself over the back of the couch and dropping himself hard into Logan's lap. The older man grunts slightly, but doesn't push Wade off as the man pulls up his mask just enough to plant an exaggerated kiss on his cheek. "Where have you been all day?"

Now that he had gotten a good look at Logan's face... something was off.

Logan was quiet for a moment, considering. "Well, you know how I've been feeling sick lately?" He asked. Pain was nothing new for him. The weight of his bones and poison from the adamantium made sure to keep his body in some level of pain. One thing his healing factor prevented was illness. If he managed to get sick, he didn't stay sick for very long.

"Yeah and I said, "you should get that checked out" and you grumbled and whined like a dog being taken to the vet?"

Logan rolled his eyes and continued, "Well, turns out I'm pregnant."

It was one of those rare times Wade was rendered silent. The mask also made it annoyingly impossible to get a good read on his face.

Wade, meanwhile, was trying to gauge whether or not this was a good thing. Logan didn't seem particularly happy.

"How the fuck did we manage that?" Wade asked. "I mean, it's not like my cancer ridden body makes healthy little swimmers and you said the adamantium poisoning rendered you infertile."

"According to the doc, unless I literally don't have a uterus, there's always a freak chance," Logan sighed, leaning heavily back into the couch and running his hands over his face. "It doesn't matter either way. We can't have a baby."

Logan waited to see if Wade would agree or disagree with him. He found himself half tempted to rip the mask off so he could get a better read on him.

Who's to say the baby would even make it to term, and what then if it did? Have two dads who's lives were marked by death and tragedy? Two guys with a list of enemies a mile long and would target a kid without thinking twice? Their lives were messy and dangerous, they couldn't bring a kid into that.

There were a million reasons why they shouldn't bring a baby into the world, but that was all too much weight for Wade. "I mean, you're right, but like, what if it develops the wolverine claws in the womb and bursts out of your stomach alien-style? That'd be kinda cool."

Logan's nose crinkled in disgust, nearly shuddering at that mental image. "That's horrific, thanks."

Wade just grinned, cupping Logan's face with both hands and kissing him.

"But seriously, whatever you think is best."

...

Later that night, Logan stared up at the ceiling fan, the blade whirling at full blast because Wade insisted on snuggling despite how hot both of them ran. He was splayed out like the world's most clingy starfish, head on Logan's chest. It was clear he was still awake too as one of his fingers idly tracing over Logan's arm. This quiet, domestic routine had become the norm.

When Logan thought about it, they were truly in a better place than they had ever been before. Logan had a home and family. The mansion was a home, but this one was his. One he chose to share with Wade. He had friends who loved him, a partner that stuck with him no matter how grumpy he got. Hell, he wasn't even drinking or smoking as much as he used to.

There were still battles and hardships, but never before had there been such a strong sense of support and community.

Logan was... happy.

"Wade?"

"Hm?"

"I..." he trailed off, unsure. "I think I actually want to have the baby." He couldn't particularly explain it. For years he fought against being put in a fatherly role when it came to all the young mutants he had met and looked after. Somehow, though, the thought of going on that journey of parenthood with Wade actually seemed kind of exciting. He loved that man more than he'd ever be able to put into words.

Wade sat up so fast it made Logan flinch.

"Oh thank FUCK!" He exclaimed, reaching over and turning on the bedside lamp while he straddled Logan's lap. His eyes pratically sparkled as he looked down at Logan. "Seriously?"

"Yeah," Logan stared back up, surprised. "Wait, you wanted to keep the baby?"

"Of COURSE I want to have a little baby wolverine with you!" Wade waved his hands as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Like, yeah I think we're probably not the best parent material in the world and Jesus the CHRIST is it terrifying, but I wanna be dad."

"Why the fuck did you not say anything earlier?!"

"I'm not the one carrying it!" Wade shot back. "Besides, I never thought I'd have kids anyways, so not exactly a deal breaker, sweetheart." He patted Logan on the cheek. "Also, you know how many orphaned and abandoned mutants we run into? We always had a chance. If only Laura were younger, coulda started there."

Laura was an adult by the time Wade came into Logan's as a romantic partner. She was still young, but not a kid that needed parents to look after her.

"So... we're gonna have a baby?" Wade asked, a grin on his face.

"We're gonna have a baby."

Wade surged forward to kiss Logan, enthusiasm rubbing off on him as he smiled against Wade's lips. His face was peppered with more kisses and whispered "God I love you so much."

When Wade calmed down a fraction, Logan had to bring him down a bit more. "I'm only a few months along, we don't know if the baby will even make it," he reminded him. So many things could go wrong it was terrifying.

"Nope! This little guy--gender neutral--is a little fighter!" Wade insisted, hand splaying over Logan's stomach. They're gonna make it and be beautiful, and then we get to name them something cool!"

Logan scoffed but couldn't keep the smile off his face. "We're not naming the baby after any of your cartoons."

"You are absolutely no fun," Wade pouted. "I'll sneak something by ya."

Logan just pulled Wade down into another kiss to shut him up.

...

((They name her Allura, from Voltron lmao.

Writing this has made me incredibly sad for reasons I'll say if asked, but decided not to say so y'all don't just get randomly sucker punched.

This is NOT movieverse, exactly, but just a vague timeline. Movieverse poolverine end up with the kid tho. Which you can read here.

ALSO YES I KNOW THIS IS THE 3RD BABY AU ON THIS ACCOUNT. I have problem. I don't even want kids 😭))

[eldritchamy]

What if a rebel spy was sent to infiltrate a hotel full of Affini and doped up florets and other Affini Compact members, only to run into someone she never thought she'd see again, and then she has to try to maintain her cover AS A FAKE FLORET HOTEL MAID while absolutely teetering on the edge of REAL domestication until there's an ELABORATE kink scenario where she gets hypnotized into being a mindlessly obedient free use maid doll in front of the entire hotel where it turns out literally everyone knew she was a spy the whole time and thinks it's hilarious how bad she is at NOT being a floret, and then she and her girlfriend erotically betray each other into domestication?

Wouldn't a story like that be WILD?

Like the SETTING of Human Domestication Guide is, at face value, a nonconsensual medical/drug play alien mind control scifi horror setting where the POV characters always "lose". Just, that's what the premise of the universe is.

You either find that concept hot or you don't.

But this story plays out like a dramatic spy thriller comedy romance (with traumatic backstory nightmares), and I LOVE that the setting makes wildly different genre stories like that possible.

Anyway the fic is called

The Grand Folia Hotel by keysmasht

Heed the trigger warnings for this one, the POV character has some religious trauma that is mostly explored through dream scenes.

[prying-pandora666]

Newer fandoms are so embarrassing in what bizarre, argumentative, pearl-clutching, inflexible black-and-white thinkers they can be. And it can be easy to slip into this culture and normalize it, until you go to older fandoms and realize just how much more CHILL fandom can be!

Like you go over to ATLA and people are like “Ew, you ship a traumatized and exploited teen soldier with the teen combatant from the opposite side!? What are you, a psychopath!?”

Meanwhile you go over to the LOTR/Silmarillion/Etc fandom and people are like “I ship literal Satan of this universe with his second in command lieutenant who has a history of being a shape shifting furry, and I hope they live a happy domestic life in hell where they torment the world together 💖” and everyone’s just like “yo drop a fic link!” or otherwise ignores it if it isn’t for them.

Then you go back to ATLA and it’s like “ACKSHULLY you shouldn’t feel bad for villain characters regardless of their circumstances otherwise you are an abuse apologist!”

Meanwhile LOTR is like “ACKSHULLY this accursed wretch of a creature corrupted beyond salvation is my baby and I cry for him nightly” and everyone’s like “love that horrible little bastard!”

Then you go back to ATLA and now the fandom is arguing over whether the genocide surviving 12 year old pacifist monk is the REAL villain here!?? For the crime of… having a crush? I guess? On a girl in his peer group who is shown to return his feelings???

Meanwhile LOTR fandom is like “Okay sure, he’s an incel who wanted to force his cousin into his bed and we all condemn that. But can we discuss the diaspora and alienation he must’ve felt as a half dark elf, different from others on sight, fed from an early age by his father that the Noldor were hypocrites and kinslayers, only for your father to come after you and your mother when you try to escape him, and he tries to KILL you, only for your mother to jump in the way and die, therefore proving your father right that the Noldor city is corrupting as he himself has now become a kinslayer! And now they’re both dead and you wonder every day if beneath his love for you, your uncle secretly resents what you are. How can he not? You are your mother’s son, but you are cursed to look like your father.”

ATLA fandom can’t even admit Iroh was once a war-mongering imperialist who believed in the war just as much as his forefathers.

Meanwhile LOTR fandom is out here writing essays about how the very same fluidity of our hearts that makes us easily corruptible also makes us capable of redemption, no matter how far gone.

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Domestic Dream: Love Beyond the Shadows

Bayverse!Donatello x reader

My Domestic Dream with Raphael quickly became one of my top posts, so I thought why not make one for each of our favorite boys? So I now present to you; Domestic Dream Donatello Edition!💜

Warnings: Spelling.

—----------------------------------------------

The soft glow of city lights reflected off the damp walls of the sewers as Donatello made his way up the ladder towards the manhole cover leading to the surface. But tonight was different. Tonight, he would step out of the shadows and into the unfamiliar world above, a world that belonged to you and your family.

It had been planned for a long time now. Donatello was going to meet your family. Your mother had been asking you for months now; when were they going to meet this Donatello you had been speaking so much of?

At first Donnie was actually supposed to have met your family last week. The whole thing was planned. He would be there with you in your apartment when your family came over, and navigate through whatever reactions they would throw at him. But crime never slept, so when Leonardo called him an hour before your family was about to arrive, telling him that police chef Vincent had requested their service for an emergency, he had to leave. He had apologized to you several times, but you weren’t mad at him. You had been honest with our parents, and told them that he worked with the police and was called in for an emergency. You weren’t lying, that was literally what happened.

But your parents were now even more interested in meeting your mysterious cop boyfriend, pressing you even harder to find a date they could meet him. That would be exactly a week later at their place. Donatello couldn’t lie; it terrified him. He had already found the thought of meeting your family at your place scary enough, but the thought of going to their place was making him nauseous. At your place he at least felt a little comfortable. To him it was a second home, where he had spent several days and nights. Your parents' place was screaming danger at the poor tech genius.

Emerging from the manhole, Donatello found himself in a quiet alley where you stood, waiting patiently. The dim light revealed the warmth in your eyes as you smiled at him, reassuring the nervous turtle with just a glance. Donnie wasn’t sure if his knees felt weak because of the horrible feeling in his guts, or the fact that you were wearing his favorite dress. You greeted him with a warm smile, before standing on your toe tips to meet his lips in a small peck.

"Ready, Donnie?" you asked, reaching for his hand, feeling it shake ever so slightly in yours. He nodded, squeezing it gently, drawing strength from your touch. He couldn’t believe it. He had fought ninjas and aliens, yet the thought of meeting his girlfriend’s parents made him shake in terror.

Together, hand in hand, you made your way towards the fire escape that led to your family's apartment. As you approached the window to your parent’s living room, Donatello felt a mix of excitement and apprehension. He took a deep breath, steeling himself for what lay ahead.

Upon entering through the window, your family was already gathered in the living room. The initial shock on their faces was evident, as Donnie followed you through the window, especially from your little sister who gasped and pointed.

"(Y/N), who... what is that?" she whispered to you. Donnie was trying hard to read her expression. Was she scared of him? No, it didn’t seem like it. She just looked, well, shocked.

"That's Donatello," you said, smiling at her, tugging Donnie’s hand closer to you. “My boyfriend. The one I told you about”.

“That is your cop boyfriend?”, your mother asked, looking cautiously at the purple clad turtle in her living room. At that moment Donnie wished he was smaller and didn’t take up so much space. His volume only made it easier to look at him.

“Well, he isn’t exactly a cop, but he does work with the NYPD”.

“Oh”, your father said, taken aback, positively? Donnie did not expect that. “Well, what do you do, Donatello?”

“W- well, me and my brothers provided the NYPD with help, t- typically in situations h- humans can’t handle t- themselves”. Fuck! Why did he stammer like that, and in front of (Y/N)’s parents of all?

“Wait! Were you part of that special task force that took care of the alien invasion?”, your father asked, lighting up like a Christmas tree on Christmas Eve.

“Uh, yeah. T- that was me and my brothers”. And with that the questions started flying from your mother, father and sister, all wanting to know the strangest of things, each with an interested smile on their faces.. Your big brother, however, had a scowl on his face, eyeing Donatello suspiciously. He still hasn't said a word to Donnie, causing the tall mutant turtle to wonder if he did something.

As the evening went on and the dinner was eaten, Donatello grew slightly more comfortable with your parents, enjoying a light conversation and small talk with them over the table. Your brother however, remained silent, watching Donnie with conscious eyes. Then finally, while you were talking with your parents about work, Donnie finally gathered up the courage to talk to your brother.

Donatello cleared his throat, stepping forward. "I understand I might look a bit... different, but I assure you, I mean no harm. I care about your sister a lot."

Your brother stared at him for a moment. “I’ll have to see that before I believe it”. And with that, your brother went to play with your sister on the carpet.

But over time, Donatello's genuine nature began to shine through. He helped your little sister with her homework, impressing her with his vast knowledge. Especially when it came to math. Your sister almost couldn’t believe that your boyfriend was a genius. Your heart felt warm as you watched the man you loved teach your little sister how to do her homework. And you also noticed how your brother would be standing in the doorway, watching the three of you.

Days turned into weeks, and Donatello became a regular part of your family's routine. Movie nights, dinners, and even the occasional game of charades—your family embraced him wholeheartedly. Love had triumphed over initial fear, and Donatello found himself not just a friend but an integral part of a human family who saw him for who he truly was. A kind hearted, smart guy that saw opportunities where most people didn’t. Even your brother couldn’t deny it. Not after he overheard the two of you talk about how your sister’s grades had gotten up, ever since Donnie started helping her. Neither did he miss the many times Donnie would help out your parents with various tech problems. Was their TV not working? He fixed it while your father brought in a six pack of beer for them to drink afterwards. Was your mother having trouble with her phone? He fixed that right after dinner, and even gave it the extra features she asked for. And your brother especially did not miss the time he saw Donnie stare at you instead of the movie the family had gathered to see. He did really care for you. Even your brother could see it. Donatello loved you. With that realization, your brother asked to talk to Donnie privately.

"I owe you an apology,  Donatello," your brother admitted, his gruff exterior softening. "I misjudged you, and I can see now that you genuinely care about my sister and the rest of us."

Donatello nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. "I appreciate that. I really do. All I want is to protect and care for the people I love, and that includes your sister and all the people she love".

“I’m really glad to hear that”, your brother said. “I wanted to hear if you would watch the game with me this weekend. I think it is about time I get to know my sister’s boyfriend”.

“I would really like that”, Donnie said with a growing smile.

As the days turned into months, Donatello's bond with your family strengthened. Your big brother, once skeptical, became one of Donatello's closest allies. Game night became a regular thing between the two of them, and so did hours of video games online every so often. You’ll never forget the day Donnie came home from that first game night with the biggest smile on his face. He took your face in his and gave you a long deep kiss, before holding you close in a tight hug.

“Thank you”, he had told you. “I only thought these kinds of things happened in dreams”.

[xoxoemynn]

Fan Fic Friday!

I'm finally getting in the headspace to be able to read and enjoy fic and oh boy have I been enjoying it! Sharing a few that I've enjoyed reading this past week. For simplicity's sake I'm focusing just on completed works.

People Are Just People (Like You) by @trans-top-stede and @nonplayer-character (plus art!!) Holy shit. Holy shit. This story is stunning. This 24K fic (that also includes some wonderful art) shows Ed struggling to re-enter the world after the COVID lockdowns, all while drawing solace listening to a radio show for aliens. (Hmmm, wonder who could be hosting that?) There is pure, raw emotion baked into each and every word. The loneliness, the feeling of knowing it SHOULD be so easy to just do what you once did so easily but now it's HARD, the desperation, the hope, all while Ed just keeps trying. By the end I was weeping and just feeling in awe of all the little ways humans are simply there for each other, time and time again. I found this work deeply relatable, and I'm sure many others on here will as well. It's an absolute masterpiece and I can't stop thinking about it.

Red Skies at Night by @soupbtch Oh, this is a FUN one, even if I was literally screaming at my laptop for chapter upon chapter because OH MY GOD I KNOW I SAID I LOVE A SLOW BURN BUT WHY MUST THEY BURN SO SLOWLY WHY CAN'T THEY JUST KISS?!?!?! Anyway. Stede's a perfectly bitchy cruise critic, Ed's performing on said cruise ship, sparks fly. This 64K fic is the perfect blend of humor and tension and heartache and of course, a lot of romance. And some great sex. Danny did such a great job using beats from both S1 and S2 to tell a really beautiful story that had me grinning ear to ear nearly the entire time. (Again, nearly, because I also did a lot of screaming.) Absolutely fantastic.

True to Life by @ipomoea-batatas This summary ("Ed and Stede accidentally open an inn for ghosts") had me sold immediately. It's fluffy domestic fic. And a ghost. But not like a ghost that's going to be terrifying and murder you in your sleep, so don't worry if that's not your jam. Just a ghost with a backstory. This fic 28K is SO much fun, filled with impeccable banter that feels like Taika and Rhys just got set loose and were allowed to do whatever they wanted. A bit of a mystery, a bit of cozy domesticity, a lot of fun. Highly recommend.

Flotsam and Jetsam by @/anathxmadevice Looking for a quick read? This one's a little over 5K and is so absurdly lovely. Don't be fooled by the short word count; there are some Big Feels in this fic. Stede's a beachcomber, and Ed runs a pub, and naturally Ed is immediately charmed by Stede's excitement at finding some funky shells. I don't want to give away the ending, but suffice to say it basically left me the human embodiment of this emoji: 🥹. Just a beautiful little bite-sized fic. And there's also a podfic!

Pete & Prejudice by @shieldmaidenofmithrilhall Okay, here's something a little different! All of the above are Ed x Stede, but here's an absolutely charming 14K story about Lucius and Pete! (Although there are some truly adorable Ed x Stede moments in it as well.) Pete and Lucius are dating and everything is amazing, except once a year Pete disappears for "a thing," and now Lucius is determined to find out what it is. I can't say much more without spoiling it, but I will say I started smiling in the very first paragraph and by the time I was done my grin had basically reached my eyebrows. Absolutely perfect characterization, so sweet, so romantic, and some moments that literally made me laugh out loud. Be prepared to fall even more deeply in love with Pete.

[m1shka-moon-bear-feelings]

you'll forever be a cringey immature straight girl no matter if you call yourself a he or a xim or a identify as a table leg, no matter how many bone-eroding cross-sex hormones you take or whether you amputate or boobs or not. biologicallly you will always be a female heterosexual since that's what you were born as. neuroscience proves that heteros aka opposite-sex attracted people have distinct brain phenotypes from gay people, regardless of if they identify as trans or not. heterosexual aka male-attracted 'transmen' have the same brain chemistry as any normie het woman, proving both that sexuality is only determined by sex and that transness isn't innate the way homosexuality is. you can larp as whatever, call neuroscience and basic knowledge on sexuality 'stinky doo doo opinions' like a petulant child who just realized santa isn't real. the only thing you're doing is embarrassing yourselves in front of anyone with the slightest cerebral functionality because you're mad we're calling out your gay-fetishizing homophobic anti-scientific bs for what it is unlike the tras who pretend to see you as 'gay' 'men' because they feel sorry for your mentally ill ass and your internalized misogyny. sure you het women will never be in an equal relationship with a male because straight men see you as throwaway sex toys and free domestic servants but this isn't an excuse for you to fetishize gay men and pretend to be them, certainly not an excuse to expect them to go along with the charade and put up with you het weirdos preying on them. het males aren't dumb when it comes to manipulating women for easy p*ssy which is why they're already on grindr with your het ass, pretending to be QWeEr and non-binary to get that mentally ill gullible cooch. no actual gay male will look at you and have any other emotion aside from anger and pitiful laughter. even if you 'pass' completely, they'll be disgusted after learning you have female genitalia and lose any attraction they may have had because het sex is abnormal and undesirable to gay people, not falling for and not wanting to fuck the opposite sex is the literal essence of our sexuality which you are diametrically opposed to. you'll just rub your nub away to yaoi like any other fujo who is either an ugly woman or understandably disillusioned with men but the only outcome is that you'll be a bitter p0rn sick lonely coomer just like those crusty basement-dwelling straight men who can't get laid. the worst part is that nearly any het woman like you can get laid, that's no achievement, het men will even pretend to be bi or gay to use you as a fleshlight but no gay male will ever want your musty homophobic vag, they want none at all and deep down you know it. that you'll never be loved and wanted by a gay man, that you'll never be seen as gay or male by anyone. you'll never know the ultimate compatibility and sublime equality that only exists in same-sex love. and now that you've ruined your straight woman privilege, only the most abusive and weird straight men will go after you, whose only purpose is to take advantage of you. what a sad existence, foaming at the mouth at gay people for standing up for ourselves when you fake progressive breeders try to brainwash your fellow homophobes into your heteronormative bioessentialist homophobia, insisting gay people could be bisexually attracted as long as you wear 'boy clothes' and cut your hair off. congrats on alienating the very people you pretend to be, most of us were 'trans allies' just a few years ago before you went full crackhead and started pretending sexuality is based on a made-up gender not biological sex. enjoy withering away in your early menopause knowing no gay person will ever love or desire you, knowing you'll never be us and should be grateful since you couldn’t stand a day of real oppression. choke on as much d*ck as you'd like, it only proves what a wanton female hetero you are and that straight males would stick their d*ck in anyone female

How bro feels after typing all that:

[spinji]

you'll forever be a cringey immature straight girl no matter if you call yourself a he or a xim or a identify as a table leg, no matter how many bone-eroding cross-sex hormones you take or whether you amputate or boobs or not. biologicallly you will always be a female heterosexual since that's what you were born as. neuroscience proves that heteros aka opposite-sex attracted people have distinct brain phenotypes from gay people, regardless of if they identify as trans or not. heterosexual aka male-attracted 'transmen' have the same brain chemistry as any normie het woman, proving both that sexuality is only determined by sex and that transness isn't innate the way homosexuality is. you can larp as whatever, call neuroscience and basic knowledge on sexuality 'stinky doo doo opinions' like a petulant child who just realized santa isn't real. the only thing you're doing is embarrassing yourselves in front of anyone with the slightest cerebral functionality because you're mad we're calling out your gay-fetishizing homophobic anti-scientific bs for what it is unlike the tras who pretend to see you as 'gay' 'men' because they feel sorry for your mentally ill ass and your internalized misogyny. sure you het women will never be in an equal relationship with a male because straight men see you as throwaway sex toys and free domestic servants but this isn't an excuse for you to fetishize gay men and pretend to be them, certainly not an excuse to expect them to go along with the charade and put up with you het weirdos preying on them. het males aren't dumb when it comes to manipulating women for easy p*ssy which is why they're already on grindr with your het ass, pretending to be QWeEr and non-binary to get that mentally ill gullible cooch. no actual gay male will look at you and have any other emotion aside from anger and pitiful laughter. even if you 'pass' completely, they'll be disgusted after learning you have female genitalia and lose any attraction they may have had because het sex is abnormal and undesirable to gay people, not falling for and not wanting to fuck the opposite sex is the literal essence of our sexuality which you are diametrically opposed to. you'll just rub your nub away to yaoi like any other fujo who is either an ugly woman or understandably disillusioned with men but the only outcome is that you'll be a bitter p0rn sick lonely coomer just like those crusty basement-dwelling straight men who can't get laid. the worst part is that nearly any het woman like yoy can get laid, that's no achievement, het men will even pretend to be bi or gay to use you as a fleshlight but no gay male will ever want your musty homophobic vag, they want none at all and deep down you know it. that you'll never be loved and wanted by a gay man, that you'll never be seen as gay or male by anyone. you'll never know the ultimate compatibility and sublime equality that only exists in same-sex love. and now that you've ruined your straight woman privilege, only the most abusive and weird straight men will go after you, whose only purpose is to take advantage of you. what a sad existence, foaming at the mouth at gay people for standing up for ourselves when you fake progressive breeders try to brainwash your fellow homophobes into your heteronormative bioessentialist homophobia, insisting gay people could be bisexually attracted as long as you wear 'boy clothes' and cut your hair off. congrats on alienating the very people you pretend to be, most of us were 'trans allies' just a few years ago before you went full crackhead and started pretending sexuality is based on a made-up gender not biological sex. enjoy withering away in your early menopause knowing no gay person will ever love or desire you, knowing you'll never be us and should be grateful since you couldn’t stand a day of real oppression. choke on as much d*ck as you'd like, it only proves what a wanton female hetero you are and that straight males would stick their d*ck in anyone female

I'm laughing way too hard to hard to process any of this as a cis woman who loves pussy.

[mukuharakazui]

you'll forever be a cringey immature straight girl no matter if you call yourself a he or a xim or a identify as a table leg, no matter how many bone-eroding cross-sex hormones you take or whether you amputate or boobs or not. biologicallly you will always be a female heterosexual since that's what you were born as. neuroscience proves that heteros aka opposite-sex attracted people have distinct brain phenotypes from gay people, regardless of if they identify as trans or not. heterosexual aka male-attracted 'transmen' have the same brain chemistry as any normie het woman, proving both that sexuality is only determined by sex and that transness isn't innate the way homosexuality is. you can larp as whatever, call neuroscience and basic knowledge on sexuality 'stinky doo doo opinions' like a petulant child who just realized santa isn't real. the only thing you're doing is embarrassing yourselves in front of anyone with the slightest cerebral functionality because you're mad we're calling out your gay-fetishizing homophobic anti-scientific bs for what it is unlike the tras who pretend to see you as 'gay' 'men' because they feel sorry for your mentally ill ass and your internalized misogyny. sure you het women will never be in an equal relationship with a male because straight men see you as throwaway sex toys and free domestic servants but this isn't an excuse for you to fetishize gay men and pretend to be them, certainly not an excuse to expect them to go along with the charade and put up with you het weirdos preying on them. het males aren't dumb when it comes to manipulating women for easy p*ssy which is why they're already on grindr with your het ass, pretending to be QWeEr and non-binary to get that mentally ill gullible cooch. no actual gay male will look at you and have any other emotion aside from anger and pitiful laughter. even if you 'pass' completely, they'll be disgusted after learning you have female genitalia and lose any attraction they may have had because het sex is abnormal and undesirable to gay people, not falling for and not wanting to fuck the opposite sex is the literal essence of our sexuality which you are diametrically opposed to. you'll just rub your nub away to yaoi like any other fujo who is either an ugly woman or understandably disillusioned with men but the only outcome is that you'll be a bitter p0rn sick lonely coomer just like those crusty basement-dwelling straight men who can't get laid. the worst part is that nearly any het woman like yoy can get laid, that's no achievement, het men will even pretend to be bi or gay to use you as a fleshlight but no gay male will ever want your musty homophobic vag, they want none at all and deep down you know it. that you'll never be loved and wanted by a gay man, that you'll never be seen as gay or male by anyone. you'll never know the ultimate compatibility and sublime equality that only exists in same-sex love. and now that you've ruined your straight woman privilege, only the most abusive and weird straight men will go after you, whose only purpose is to take advantage of you. what a sad existence, foaming at the mouth at gay people for standing up for ourselves when you fake progressive breeders try to brainwash your fellow homophobes into your heteronormative bioessentialist homophobia, insisting gay people could be bisexually attracted as long as you wear 'boy clothes' and cut your hair off. congrats on alienating the very people you pretend to be, most of us were 'trans allies' just a few years ago before you went full crackhead and started pretending sexuality is based on a made-up gender not biological sex. enjoy withering away in your early menopause knowing no gay person will ever love or desire you, knowing you'll never be us and should be grateful since you couldn’t stand a day of real oppression. choke on as much d*ck as you'd like, it only proves what a wanton female hetero you are and that straight males would stick their d*ck in anyone female

Why are you so desperately obsessed with transgender people that you would spend the time typing this out and sending it to me, a cisgender man, over Tumblr

[ashes-onthewind]

you'll forever be a cringey immature straight girl no matter if you call yourself a he or a xim or a identify as a table leg, no matter how many bone-eroding cross-sex hormones you take or whether you amputate or boobs or not. biologicallly you will always be a female heterosexual since that's what you were born as. neuroscience proves that heteros aka opposite-sex attracted people have distinct brain phenotypes from gay people, regardless of if they identify as trans or not. heterosexual aka male-attracted 'transmen' have the same brain chemistry as any normie het woman, proving both that sexuality is only determined by sex and that transness isn't innate the way homosexuality is. you can larp as whatever, call neuroscience and basic knowledge on sexuality 'stinky doo doo opinions' like a petulant child who just realized santa isn't real. the only thing you're doing is embarrassing yourselves in front of anyone with the slightest cerebral functionality because you're mad we're calling out your gay-fetishizing homophobic anti-scientific bs for what it is unlike the tras who pretend to see you as 'gay' 'men' because they feel sorry for your mentally ill ass and your internalized misogyny. sure you het women will never be in an equal relationship with a male because straight men see you as throwaway sex toys and free domestic servants but this isn't an excuse for you to fetishize gay men and pretend to be them, certainly not an excuse to expect them to go along with the charade and put up with you het weirdos preying on them. het males aren't dumb when it comes to manipulating women for easy p*ssy which is why they're already on grindr with your het ass, pretending to be QWeEr and non-binary to get that mentally ill gullible cooch. no actual gay male will look at you and have any other emotion aside from anger and pitiful laughter. even if you 'pass' completely, they'll be disgusted after learning you have female genitalia and lose any attraction they may have had because het sex is abnormal and undesirable to gay people, not falling for and not wanting to fuck the opposite sex is the literal essence of our sexuality which you are diametrically opposed to. you'll just rub your nub away to yaoi like any other fujo who is either an ugly woman or understandably disillusioned with men but the only outcome is that you'll be a bitter p0rn sick lonely coomer just like those crusty basement-dwelling straight men who can't get laid. the worst part is that nearly any het woman like you can get laid, that's no achievement, het men will even pretend to be bi or gay to use you as a fleshlight but no gay male will ever want your musty homophobic vag, they want none at all and deep down you know it. that you'll never be loved and wanted by a gay man, that you'll never be seen as gay or male by anyone. you'll never know the ultimate compatibility and sublime equality that only exists in same-sex love. and now that you've ruined your straight woman privilege, only the most abusive and weird straight men will go after you, whose only purpose is to take advantage of you. what a sad existence, foaming at the mouth at gay people for standing up for ourselves when you fake progressive breeders try to brainwash your fellow homophobes into your heteronormative bioessentialist homophobia, insisting gay people could be bisexually attracted as long as you wear 'boy clothes' and cut your hair off. congrats on alienating the very people you pretend to be, most of us were 'trans allies' just a few years ago before you went full crackhead and started pretending sexuality is based on a made-up gender not biological sex. enjoy withering away in your early menopause knowing no gay person will ever love or desire you, knowing you'll never be us and should be grateful since you couldn’t stand a day of real oppression. choke on as much d*ck as you'd like, it only proves what a wanton female hetero you are and that straight males would stick their d*ck in anyone female

oh hey! someone actually put effort into their hate! how cute! im incredibly disappointed that you're doing shit like this. fuck off and grow up.

your entire argument completely fucking crumbles as soon as you realise the idea of sex disgusts me :)! im trans not because i want to have gay sex, I'm trans because playing at being a girl felt horrible, and now i ID as gay because it's fun and because I don't give a shit what people like you think. fuck off.

oh, and a LOT of gay trans men are T4T, you ignorant fuckface. (since you seem to be so idiotic, that stands for trans for trans, and means that they prefer other trans people) hell knows I am. I much prefer people who know my experience with gender much more intimately than a cis person ever could.

it's almost like your "argument" is solely because you have so much hatred and rot inside you that you feel the need to prey on trans men and invalidate who they are. it's because you're an immature asshole who only wants to make themself feel better by shitting on people who are just existing. i guarantee you, not a single trans man would come within a fucking light year of you. you externalise your hatred because you're too immature to shut your fucking mouth and sit down.

anyway. you fucking coward, come off anon and say that to my face, bitch. if you're so concerned about pussy, stop fucking being one. let the world know how much of a fucking bitch you are. i dare you.

(oh and about your "basic biology"? look up a single study on trans brain chemistry. just one. i know that'll be all the facts your bigoted little brain nugget can handle being exposed to)

[nyan-bynary]

you'll forever be a cringey immature straight girl no matter if you call yourself a he or a xim or a identify as a table leg, no matter how many bone-eroding cross-sex hormones you take or whether you amputate or boobs or not. biologicallly you will always be a female heterosexual since that's what you were born as. neuroscience proves that heteros aka opposite-sex attracted people have distinct brain phenotypes from gay people, regardless of if they identify as trans or not. heterosexual aka male-attracted 'transmen' have the same brain chemistry as any normie het woman, proving both that sexuality is only determined by sex and that transness isn't innate the way homosexuality is. you can larp as whatever, call neuroscience and basic knowledge on sexuality 'stinky doo doo opinions' like a petulant child who just realized santa isn't real. the only thing you're doing is embarrassing yourselves in front of anyone with the slightest cerebral functionality because you're mad we're calling out your gay-fetishizing homophobic anti-scientific bs for what it is unlike the tras who pretend to see you as 'gay' 'men' because they feel sorry for your mentally ill ass and your internalized misogyny. sure you het women will never be in an equal relationship with a male because straight men see you as throwaway sex toys and free domestic servants but this isn't an excuse for you to fetishize gay men and pretend to be them, certainly not an excuse to expect them to go along with the charade and put up with you het weirdos preying on them. het males aren't dumb when it comes to manipulating women for easy p*ssy which is why they're already on grindr with your het ass, pretending to be QWeEr and non-binary to get that mentally ill gullible cooch. no actual gay male will look at you and have any other emotion aside from anger and pitiful laughter. even if you 'pass' completely, they'll be disgusted after learning you have female genitalia and lose any attraction they may have had because het sex is abnormal and undesirable to gay people, not falling for and not wanting to fuck the opposite sex is the literal essence of our sexuality which you are diametrically opposed to. you'll just rub your nub away to yaoi like any other fujo who is either an ugly woman or understandably disillusioned with men but the only outcome is that you'll be a bitter p0rn sick lonely coomer just like those crusty basement-dwelling straight men who can't get laid. the worst part is that nearly any het woman like you can get laid, that's no achievement, het men will even pretend to be bi or gay to use you as a fleshlight but no gay male will ever want your musty homophobic vag, they want none at all and deep down you know it. that you'll never be loved and wanted by a gay man, that you'll never be seen as gay or male by anyone. you'll never know the ultimate compatibility and sublime equality that only exists in same-sex love. and now that you've ruined your straight woman privilege, only the most abusive and weird straight men will go after you, whose only purpose is to take advantage of you. what a sad existence, foaming at the mouth at gay people for standing up for ourselves when you fake progressive breeders try to brainwash your fellow homophobes into your heteronormative bioessentialist homophobia, insisting gay people could be bisexually attracted as long as you wear 'boy clothes' and cut your hair off. congrats on alienating the very people you pretend to be, most of us were 'trans allies' just a few years ago before you went full crackhead and started pretending sexuality is based on a made-up gender not biological sex. enjoy withering away in your early menopause knowing no gay person will ever love or desire you, knowing you'll never be us and should be grateful since you couldn’t stand a day of real oppression. choke on as much d*ck as you'd like, it only proves what a wanton female hetero you are and that straight males would stick their d*ck in anyone female

Bro I'm not reading allat and you can try again when you're not so much of a coward little pussy to say the word DICK with your whole chest! die <3

[aromanticannibal]

you'll forever be a cringey immature straight girl no matter if you call yourself a he or a xim or a identify as a table leg, no matter how many bone-eroding cross-sex hormones you take or whether you amputate or boobs or not. biologicallly you will always be a female heterosexual since that's what you were born as. neuroscience proves that heteros aka opposite-sex attracted people have distinct brain phenotypes from gay people, regardless of if they identify as trans or not. heterosexual aka male-attracted 'transmen' have the same brain chemistry as any normie het woman, proving both that sexuality is only determined by sex and that transness isn't innate the way homosexuality is. you can larp as whatever, call neuroscience and basic knowledge on sexuality 'stinky doo doo opinions' like a petulant child who just realized santa isn't real. the only thing you're doing is embarrassing yourselves in front of anyone with the slightest cerebral functionality because you're mad we're calling out your gay-fetishizing homophobic anti-scientific bs for what it is unlike the tras who pretend to see you as 'gay' 'men' because they feel sorry for your mentally ill ass and your internalized misogyny. sure you het women will never be in an equal relationship with a male because straight men see you as throwaway sex toys and free domestic servants but this isn't an excuse for you to fetishize gay men and pretend to be them, certainly not an excuse to expect them to go along with the charade and put up with you het weirdos preying on them. het males aren't dumb when it comes to manipulating women for easy p*ssy which is why they're already on grindr with your het ass, pretending to be QWeEr and non-binary to get that mentally ill gullible cooch. no actual gay male will look at you and have any other emotion aside from anger and pitiful laughter. even if you 'pass' completely, they'll be disgusted after learning you have female genitalia and lose any attraction they may have had because het sex is abnormal and undesirable to gay people, not falling for and not wanting to fuck the opposite sex is the literal essence of our sexuality which you are diametrically opposed to. you'll just rub your nub away to yaoi like any other fujo who is either an ugly woman or understandably disillusioned with men but the only outcome is that you'll be a bitter p0rn sick lonely coomer just like those crusty basement-dwelling straight men who can't get laid. the worst part is that nearly any het woman like you can get laid, that's no achievement, het men will even pretend to be bi or gay to use you as a fleshlight but no gay male will ever want your musty homophobic vag, they want none at all and deep down you know it. that you'll never be loved and wanted by a gay man, that you'll never be seen as gay or male by anyone. you'll never know the ultimate compatibility and sublime equality that only exists in same-sex love. and now that you've ruined your straight woman privilege, only the most abusive and weird straight men will go after you, whose only purpose is to take advantage of you. what a sad existence, foaming at the mouth at gay people for standing up for ourselves when you fake progressive breeders try to brainwash your fellow homophobes into your heteronormative bioessentialist homophobia, insisting gay people could be bisexually attracted as long as you wear 'boy clothes' and cut your hair off. congrats on alienating the very people you pretend to be, most of us were 'trans allies' just a few years ago before you went full crackhead and started pretending sexuality is based on a made-up gender not biological sex. enjoy withering away in your early menopause knowing no gay person will ever love or desire you, knowing you'll never be us and should be grateful since you couldn’t stand a day of real oppression. choke on as much d*ck as you'd like, it only proves what a wanton female hetero you are and that straight males would stick their d*ck in anyone female

thank you have some cornflakes

[triko-the-fluffy-artist]

you'll forever be a cringey immature straight girl no matter if you call yourself a he or a xim or a identify as a table leg, no matter how many bone-eroding cross-sex hormones you take or whether you amputate or boobs or not. biologicallly you will always be a female heterosexual since that's what you were born as. neuroscience proves that heteros aka opposite-sex attracted people have distinct brain phenotypes from gay people, regardless of if they identify as trans or not. heterosexual aka male-attracted 'transmen' have the same brain chemistry as any normie het woman, proving both that sexuality is only determined by sex and that transness isn't innate the way homosexuality is. you can larp as whatever, call neuroscience and basic knowledge on sexuality 'stinky doo doo opinions' like a petulant child who just realized santa isn't real. the only thing you're doing is embarrassing yourselves in front of anyone with the slightest cerebral functionality because you're mad we're calling out your gay-fetishizing homophobic anti-scientific bs for what it is unlike the tras who pretend to see you as 'gay' 'men' because they feel sorry for your mentally ill ass and your internalized misogyny. sure you het women will never be in an equal relationship with a male because straight men see you as throwaway sex toys and free domestic servants but this isn't an excuse for you to fetishize gay men and pretend to be them, certainly not an excuse to expect them to go along with the charade and put up with you het weirdos preying on them. het males aren't dumb when it comes to manipulating women for easy p*ssy which is why they're already on grindr with your het ass, pretending to be QWeEr and non-binary to get that mentally ill gullible cooch. no actual gay male will look at you and have any other emotion aside from anger and pitiful laughter. even if you 'pass' completely, they'll be disgusted after learning you have female genitalia and lose any attraction they may have had because het sex is abnormal and undesirable to gay people, not falling for and not wanting to fuck the opposite sex is the literal essence of our sexuality which you are diametrically opposed to. you'll just rub your nub away to yaoi like any other fujo who is either an ugly woman or understandably disillusioned with men but the only outcome is that you'll be a bitter p0rn sick lonely coomer just like those crusty basement-dwelling straight men who can't get laid. the worst part is that nearly any het woman like yoy can get laid, that's no achievement, het men will even pretend to be bi or gay to use you as a fleshlight but no gay male will ever want your musty homophobic vag, they want none at all and deep down you know it. that you'll never be loved and wanted by a gay man, that you'll never be seen as gay or male by anyone. you'll never know the ultimate compatibility and sublime equality that only exists in same-sex love. and now that you've ruined your straight woman privilege, only the most abusive and weird straight men will go after you, whose only purpose is to take advantage of you. what a sad existence, foaming at the mouth at gay people for standing up for ourselves when you fake progressive breeders try to brainwash your fellow homophobes into your heteronormative bioessentialist homophobia, insisting gay people could be bisexually attracted as long as you wear 'boy clothes' and cut your hair off. congrats on alienating the very people you pretend to be, most of us were 'trans allies' just a few years ago before you went full crackhead and started pretending sexuality is based on a made-up gender not biological sex. enjoy withering away in your early menopause knowing no gay person will ever love or desire you, knowing you'll never be us and should be grateful since you couldn’t stand a day of real oppression. choke on as much d*ck as you'd like, it only proves what a wanton female hetero you are and that straight males would stick their d*ck in anyone female

DAYUM dude, that's a whole PARAGRAPH of hate, are you ok??💧 There is no way i'm reading all of that, i've better things to do in my life, since I do have a good one! I hope you have a good one too :3

[meirimerens]

*runs up to you* thoughts on burakhovsky marriage? 🎤🎤🎤

Honey if you knew!!!! I'll try to make it quick because I'm making sims so typing over my laptop put on front of my keyboard (complicated). Actually let me do Wedding. Marriage is them exactly the same but post-that. And sleeping in the same bed under boddhos hospices but hopefully not her watchful eye.

Tldr yes. dankovsky has been 🙄🙄 about marriage his whole life out of the feeling of religious alienation for being gay + generally a contrarian + able to recognize the misogyny inherent to marriage as a religious institution which made him go [before he knew he was gay] well if I met a woman I wouldn't want to marry her that's cruel [literally doesn't matter he's gay]  + generally a liker of freedom inclined to dislike institutions. But also he never had an actual relationship before so his ass didn't care before. And also by virtue of being a marriage between two men, the religious (and tbf secular societal) misogyny of the woman being "passed down" from the father's to the husband's "property" to go from domestic labor in her parents house to domestic sexual and reproductive labor in her husbands Literally doesn't apply to them because gay wedding.

I think his mom is overjoyed at marrige she always wanted him to have a nice wedding so she's very happy. she's a bit nervous because he's marrying in a culture she doesn't know much about (and vice-versa for burakh tbf) and she's ankchus at how ceremony will go.

Dankovskys side of fhe family brings to the ceremony Armenian [mothers side] & Georgian [dads] traditions [not listing bc making it short so I can.go back to my sims] also dankovsky in chokha please. ooooh please. for his weddig day.

they need A Bunch of meetings with wardens and the brides (all that participate in the ceremony) to adjust the usual wedding traditions to like. two guys. esp. for the Kin traditions as motherhood - birth - rebirth are very important within that culture and like Not Happening Here Sorry. so a bunch of bits and pieces are rearranged, I'd imagine like blessings for the bride for beautiful children and safe childbirth are scraped and everyone is scratching their heads at what to replace them with [they end up finding its fine]. while it's not the first time the Kin has an out gay couple among them [duh] it's the first time its a Warden son of Menkhu and they have to make a big deal out of it. Methinks ceremony includes painting sigils on each others wrists and the herb brides bricker with Oyun like "oh my god you can keep that one it doubles as a potency charm" and burakh and dankovsky sitting there are just boiling inside [I drew an image of it once I did I did]

also dankovskys mom insists burakh and those who can stand in as family come drink the tea with them and share his intention to ask for her sons hand in marriage [even after having asked dankovsky + neither of them care about parents permission, it's exclusively to please dankovskys family esp his mam who's taking that from lhosk-arnel tradition]

Ceremony also includes stepping out to the steppe for private vows while the assembly turns around and coming back. then usually groom carries brides on a beautiful bull he'd have tame to the bridal house (typically honeymoon destination). dankovsky has to explain to his father who already struggled with him being gay earlier on in his life that "I'm not sitting on the bull because I'm the woman of the relationship, I'm sitting on the bull because I'm scared of it and it could crush my foot under its hoof" and his dad kind of looks at him a little fearful.

mom brings honeycakes. rubin burakhs best man/whatever they're called, peter is dankovsky, and he keeps making big wet eyes at rubin the whole ceremony (watch out)